Putting my life back together

There is a certain necessity every now and then for things in life to fall apart just so you can put them back together. If the falling apart were always intentional, I would be worried, but if it is your typical falling apart, new opportunities abound. I'll try and remind myself of this if I'm not feeling this positive tomorrow, or if I don't get the job.

A certain amount of falling apart happened after my undergrad, and halfway through my first year of graduate school. And a bit of falling apart has been happening for the past few months as I have been separating (unhappily) from my house and thoughts of living in Portland and being coerced into ill-advised adventures with a certain couple of crazy kick ass gals.

But a certain amount of putting the pieces back together has to happen at some point. And I've been working hard on making that happen. and I've submitted to a bit of self pity. And I've tried to be easy on myself in my apathetic and somewhat lonely state. Because I'm usually so hard on myself I make things worse. Then I really down the ice cream. Even though it makes me sick.

And yesterday I had my second informational interview with the firm I am most interested in. a firm that posted a picture of Mr. Bean along with the photos of the other employees, a firm that does amazing public, civic, institutional, and ecological work throughout California. At first I met with only 2 of the principles talking endlessly about how their firm distributes projects, what type of projects they work on, the personalities of the firm. And by the end of the two hours they spent with me, I had met every employee, talked about UO faculty, and my home town, and Andrew's boss and irrigation plans and the third principle's outdated waterproof Sony walkman. You know the one I'm talking about.

So, this morning I called to reiterate my interest in a position at their firm. And after that I registered for my final 3 credits at UO. And this afternoon I opened a new bank account that I can access outside of Oregon. And I set up a new short-term health insurance plan. And just now I made a list of all the things I need to pay off, and the monthly bills I have to manage.

These things probably seem really boring to most people, but to me they have always been extremely satisfying if they work out, and today they have. and so the un-falling-apart begins. I hope.