Quit.

It has been eight months since I started interviewing for work here. I have applied at coffee shops (yes, plural), outdoor stores, planning, architecture and landscape architecture firms. I have interviewed or spoke with or sent resumes to countless firms, businesses, or agencies of city, county, regional and federal government.

And I'm broke. I can't pay my bills. I know I'm not alone, as every time I listen to NPR or the local radio station, or any other news outlet, the headlines almost always reflect the condition of the economy right now. But I'm still frustrated. Persistence and a positive attitude, patience and MAKING IT WORK are supposed to get me a job. Yet 8 months later I still have only a part time job that pays me enough to afford if-I'm-dying-health insurance ( I think), car insurance and a car payment. Note the fact that I did not include food, rent, electric bills, phone bills, student loan payments, or credit card payments let alone entertainment, gas money, interview clothes money, resume and portfolio production money, money to change my driver's license and registration, money for increased car insurance premiums.

The guilt of not being able to support myself is setting in. My parents can barely afford to help me. Andrew has been more than supportive, both financially and emotionally. He has encouraged me unquestioningly, bringing home news of a new firm here, or another opportunity there. But I feel I've already taken too much.